Saying goodbye

As I sit here trying to express my feelings, all I can think of is my wonderful husband, Chris, and what he is going through right now. In just a few hours he will be getting up to say his final goodbye to his dad.  It's hard to believe that just over 2 weeks ago we found out that Chris's dad's cancer and just a week ago we discovered that his had really come back with a vengeance. 

Last Sunday Ken and Nancy (Dad and Mom Whited), flew home from their visit with Chris's eldest brother and his family. Chris's Aunt Helen from Denver came down and along with Aunt Pat who lives in town, we met them at the airport. Dad knew he was going to die soon. Chris was driving them back to Cortez that night.

Kate and I went to the airport too since I knew this would be the final time we would see Dad. Kate didn't know why were were meeting them or why we weren't going to Colorado too. She was just excited to be goig to the airport to see Grandpa and Grandma. We were holding up fairly well until they came out of the terminal and Kate ran up to Grandpa in the wheelchair and gave I haven't seen Chris cry very often in our relationship, but he did them and so did I. I still don't know why Kate hasn't asked us about our tears that day, but I am grateful since she still doesn't know about Grandpa. It was such a innocent scene at the airport and I wish I could have captured it on film. Such joy on Kate's face when she saw her grandpa (and grandma, too)! It's hard to forget that for the majority of her life he as been sick. Even though she never saw him or spent much time with him, she loves him all same! No hesitation running up to him for a hug!

We got their luggage and went to our car. Not the perfect place to say a final goodbye, but it was all Kate and I got as we weren't going to Colorado. We didn't want Kate to see her grandpa die and at 35 weeks pregnant it was getting r. ather difficult to travel. 

When it was my turned to say goodbye, all I could do was cry and tell him I loved him. I never got to tell him how much he meant to me, or how much I enjoyed our talks whether it was about teaching, sports, religion or traveling.  I never got to thank him for helping to raise such an amazing son whom I love and cherish and couldn't live without. I couldn't thank him for loving his science-loving granddaughter (she gets it from both grandfathers!). She loves the telescope and talking solar system they gave her last Christmas.  I couldn't thank him for taking the time to read to Kate whenever she brought book after book to him when he was at our home last year.  But most of all I couldn't tell him thank you for making me feel included and loved in this Whited family. He and Nancy embraced me as a daughter 13 years ago when Chris first brought me to Cortez to meet them, even before we were officially engaged. :)  

It's hard knowing that he will not meet his newest granddaughter, Elizabeth, but I do know that Dad is watching out for us in Heaven. One of the last things he told me was that he knew I couldn't come up to Colorado and I was to take care of Chris and his granddaughters. I will certainly be doing my best. :)

I wish I could be in Colorado tomorrow to hold Chris's hand as he says goodbye one final time. I wish I was there to comfort him even though I know it would be him comforting me. I might not be there, but my heart is in Colorado with my Whited family.  I hope it is a day of remembrance of what a wonderful husband, father, grandfather and great grandfather he was to our family.   I am grateful that he is now pain free and with God and family who have passed before.  He may be gone from this Earth, but his memory will live on.

 

I love you, Dad, and we will miss you!